My dad has BIG hands!
Those hands have built homes, baby cradles, and intricate miniature duplications of heavy duty machinery down to the wooden gear shifts. I was never afraid of those big hands but I did have a healthy respect for the pain they could inflict if I was disobedient. Those big hands, although gentle, could also become “the board of education applied to the seat of understanding”, so for the most part I was a good girl.
Often, even into my teen years I would grab one of those big hands while we walked. Those hands were comforting, loving, and very skilled. I didn’t fully realize how fortunate I was until I was engaged and my fiancé and I went for our first counselling session. The first thing I was asked was if my father had ever been inappropriate with me, because if so the counselling would go a very different route. In my naivety I remember feeling a bit offended to even be asked that. Those big hands were my security!
The way we were treated by our fathers has a huge impact on our relationship to our husbands.
I am so grateful for my wonderful dad and how he raised me because I was able to come into my marriage without the hurt and baggage that comes at the hand of abuse. If your story is not the same I would encourage you to seek out help. Marriage is hard enough without having to deal with all the trauma of a childhood that included any form of abuse.
Even now, after many years, my favorite moment is still when those big hands wrap around my shoulders for a hug.